The world expanded, freed of the alternating white and black, unbound by the black lines on a wooden board. Awareness of their surroundings came in a rush...
Transition from one scene to the other is quite confusing, maybe because you put both scenes (present and [start of] the flashback) in a single paragraph.
Status: Drafty-ish but I have to submit it already
A real draft (for me) is the time when you download all the thoughts in your head into the PC. This piece strikes me as an edited (2nd draft, or a "polish") version of the story.
At this point of ko, at eternity, they return endlessly to how they were. He was master, she was student, unequal, needing each other to fulfill their roles.
The heart of the story. This should be emphasized more at the end.
no subject
Transition from one scene to the other is quite confusing, maybe because you put both scenes (present and [start of] the flashback) in a single paragraph.
A real draft (for me) is the time when you download all the thoughts in your head into the PC. This piece strikes me as an edited (2nd draft, or a "polish") version of the story.
The heart of the story. This should be emphasized more at the end.