Ah, nothing like porn to keep me going.

[blue_cage]

Ariri-nee, my sweet and lovely Ariri-nee, has issued an ultimatum of Friday for both Death Games interlude and Chapter 3. And like, her threat of me having to write SephirothxRiku waffy porn is enough to get me cracking. I don't like writing porn, I don't have the skills set for it. Yeah, yeah, I know, mierin_lanfear, I've been goading you, but that's because that's all I'm good for - goading. I mean, the last time I actually wrote anything beyond cuddling was - *thinks* oh, I think it was the L5r fanfic with Toshiken and Yoshi. I'm not sure though, but it was that long ago. And they didn't really have sex, oh no, it was just, uh, rooster synonyms and oral congress. (Total favorite word for the day: oral congress! Though now I can't help but wonder what the people in the House of Representatives are doing.) I've never really written anything past that, because that Magic Knight Rayearth and Snupin still makes me laugh to this day. Not really encouraging reactions to doing porn, is it? O_o;

I managed to mention Takesato now, that's how much I fear the waffy porn. I'm working in Gyousou's hand for Hikaru to freak out on, though I can't decide how to end Interlude. I'm vacillating between Subaru doing his Sumeragi thing, Subaru doing his Sakurazukamori thing (in case I turn Gyousou into a Hollow. *emo tears*), or Hikaru doing his shinigami thing for the first time. I'm sort of leaning for the latter, since really, I believe Hikaru can do it with an asauchi, but the only reason why it's still unnamed is we can't come up with a good zanpakutou name for it. We're still choosing. :D

Oh, and here's a couple more crack convos between _dilation and me, while I wait for the weather to clear up, so I can go out and get Akaya scanned.


This one happened on the 27th, when I was kinda off at lala land with articles.

blue_cage: We accept crack in it's unmethylated form. lol
blue_cage: Ignore me. Inui's the meth maker of Seigaku.
dilation: Hehehe, that explains why they're on crack.
blue_cage: Yesh, and Kikumaru Eiji's their rave party connection. XD
blue_cage: Whereas we all know Kunimitsu Tezuka, police commissioner's grandson, is actually the brains behind the rise of Seigaku gang's power.
blue_cage: But the powerplay between current pseudo-head Oishi, the up and coming gang boss Ryoma, and marksman expert Fuji is gonna come to an explosion of guts and splatter on the streets of Kanto. XD
blue_cage: Oh, shit, what the hell? *erases*
blue_cage: I DID NOT MENTION THIS TO YOU WOMAN! XD
blue_cage: Who needs knight!crack when we can get gangsta!crack? XD
dilation: Bullets are faster yo.
blue_cage: Yeah, and no horses get hurt in the process. XD
dilation: Black Beauty!
blue_cage: Yeah! We must not hurt horsies, Yukimura will kill us.
dilation: Yes, no hurt horsies!
blue_cage: kukukukuku, how does Bunta use those chopsticks anyway?
dilation: They're just the cheap kind, but he's a creative person....
blue_cage: THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN! XD
dilation: OMG YES
blue_cage: OH GOD, BAD IMAGE.
dilation: Jackal: "Hey, I was using that!"
blue_cage: Well, I don't think you should use that anymore. XD
dilation: :-&
blue_cage: I have an image of Bunta eating ramen while interrogating someone, and then jabbing the guy's eyes out, and getting a new pair and just going on slurping down the noodles. XD
dilation: Yes, that's what I had in mind.
dilation: That's why he's "Chopsticks"
blue_cage: *facepalms* It's still disgusting.
dilation: Well, Bunta doesn't care lol
blue_cage: Jackal has a bag full of disposable chopsticks.
dilation: Yeah. He buys all kinds.
blue_cage: And Bunta tests it out by poking people.
*jab* "Ow!" "Too soft!"
*jab* "YEOUCH!" "Too brittle!"
*jab* "GYAAAAAAAARAGH!" "Ah, just right."
dilation: The Chopsticks Test
blue_cage: *facepalms* CRACK ALERT! I'm gonna escape while I still can
dilation: OH NO YOU DON'T.
blue_cage: I have visions of Hiyoshi and Akaya being rivals for turf in high school, like "I have a bigger gang than you, haha!" kinda of a pissing contest, and then Hiyoshi got recruited by Atobe's group of companies, and he fell in love with Casino wheeler dealer Taki Haginosuke
blue_cage: OH GOD. NO MORE. I'M SHUTTING UP NOW.
dilation: NO KEEP GOING....
blue_cage: You know how Hiroshi Wakato's been hanging around the Hyotei Casino's? He's actually being supplied with meth by Seigaku through connections with the Vice-Boss Yuushi.
dilation: <33333333 GO ON
blue_cage: But we all know that in a certain part of the prostitution rings the popular Dan Taichi and Tanaka twins are most prized by the customers. XD
blue_cage: WAAAH! What am I doing to Dan? XD
blue_cage: KONOMI, TAKE THEM AWAY WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
dilation: OMG GO ON DESU!
blue_cage: The crack's being controlled by three gangs, Seigaku, Rikkaidai, and to a small degree Yamabuki, which is a newcomer but led by maniacal Akutsu into a crusade to get established Rikkaidai off their district. It's one bloody war with fast cars, hidden drops, and a few police infiltrators messing up the whole affair, though really, isn't the Fudoumine Police Department gonna do anything about the pink-clad serial-killer on the loose?
dilation: pink???????????
dilation: The infiltrator: Yanagisawa DANE!
blue_cage: Fujiko in his guise as Momoneko. XD Oh, God, stop me.
dilation: ORZ
blue_cage: My brain broke! XD
blue_cage: Momoneko-> larcenous grand thief serial killer terrorizing the city. That she sends a warning to the house she'll burgle and scalp off a few heads along the way strikes fear in the hearts of many rich kids, except Atobe, who knows and pays for his safety.
blue_cage: Momoneko appears, with a pretty fox mask and a set of twirly katanas, and then she attacks!
dilation: IT's SO CUTE.
dilation: Fuji's a major creep lolz
blue_cage: Trail of blood! Gore! Blood! Disconnected arms!
blue_cage: Akutsu pulling a heist with guns blazing to get Dan-chan for a night of pure hazy hashhish induced pleasure. XD
dilation: Sex, Drugs and Guns
blue_cage: The only thing that makes Tenipuri fangirls' hearts beat like TADUMP-TADUMP
dilation: Konomi, we're takin over your manga!
blue_cage: *reads back* ... ... ... ... ... I'm glad we're not holding this chat in. googletalk, else I will leave a transcript. XD
dilation: But I'm saving this convo!
dilation: :D
blue_cage: WAAAAAH! *hides*
blue_cage: DOES THAT MEAN IO HAVE TO DO ALL THE THINGS I WROTE?!
dilation: YES
blue_cage: Oh, God. *lists*
dilation: Long list.^__^
blue_cage: I KNOW. I think my brain blew at Momoneko.
dilation: MOMONEKO-CHAN!
blue_cage: momo's actually in the police too -> ryoma's police bug
dilation: Infernal Affairs
blue_cage: YAY! Yes, that's it!
dilation: Infernal Affairs >>>>> than The Departed
blue_cage: Rikkai vs Hyotei is pure Godfather, but Seigaku inner politics + Fudoumine = The Infernal Affairs. XD
dilation: LOLZ ULTIMATE CROSSOVER
blue_cage: OMG, I really broke my brain with that one.
blue_cage: ^_^ Guh. Crap.
blue_cage: I'm trying to get the vision of Taki as a lounge singer outta my head.
dilation: LOL
blue_cage: Just remember You can do crack Rikkai yakuza. Teaching's gonna be a breeze
dilation: LOLZ I'm gonna corrupt me some kids
blue_cage: Yes! And the first step is to become a respected authority figure. Taken from chapter 3 page 45 of the Seigaku how-to guide to become a shadowy underworld boss, rule the police, have 2.4 children and a crazy serial killer for a mistress on the side and still go to church on Sunday.
dilation: OH TEZUKA
blue_cage: Yessssh. Sakurano's his default fiancee, you know.
blue_cage: She's gotten a few decapitated cacti.
dilation: Tezuka/Sakuno?
blue_cage: Death threats, Fujiko style. XD
blue_cage: Well, we can always kill of Sakuno. Or toss her as princess to Ryoma
dilation: This is turning into a soap opera.
blue_cage: Who says Tezuka will survive this debacle? O_o;;;;
blue_cage: Guts! Gore! Explosions! Wait, oh shit, it is a soap opera.
blue_cage: *whines* I don't wanna turn Tenipuri into a soap opera. Spare the fandom. Don't make me write. XD
dilation: dun dun dun DUUUUNNNNN
blue_cage: Pity me. Pity Momoneko
dilation: NO NO PITY! WRITE IT.
blue_cage: Wuuuuh. T____T
blue_cage: *evil alter ego switch*
blue_cage: VWOHOHOHOHOHOHO! Guts, guns, sex, and drugs?! No problem, vohohohohoho!
blue_cage: *switch* Oh shit.
dilation: Remember, Im' saving this combo.>:)
blue_cage: OH SHIT.

Then we met up the next day and I ended up cracking over Hyotei, and a bit of Naruto, but then it was a tiny bit. XD
blue_cage: Uwaaah, my brain~ I'm trying to make a coherent Seigaku Yakuza fic!
dilation: YES. Work slave! >D
blue_cage: whapam whapam Yes, master! I wanna make a Desert Rose Psychedelico Remix for Momoneko-san <3
dilation: Don't worry, I'll probably post some D2 and Akaya <3 tom :)
blue_cage: YAY! Anyway, guess what I call Hiyoshi? XD
dilation: Piyo piyo? :D
blue_cage: Wahahahahahaha. Mr. Semi-Auto. XD Wuuuuh, cliche!
dilation: Hwoh! How about Oshitari?
blue_cage: Baccarat King! XD Well, besides "Sexy Yuushi," of course!
blue_cage: Gakuto's SugaLolly. XD
dilation: What's his weapons, cards?
blue_cage: Oh, God. Please ignore me.
blue_cage: Wuuuuh, yeah, well, Yuushi doesn't need to fight, yoh. He has a whole squadron protecting him. Pero in case, yeah, cards. XD Gakuto has scary spiked stiletto boots on for his weapons. Stab and dash, jump and slash.
dilation: NICE!
blue_cage: Draw, yoh! I want to see SugaLolly Gakuto!
dilation: I'm at school oi! :D
blue_cage: SugaLolly Gakuto~*whines*
dilation: Hmm, when I get home... but I'll do Akaya and D2 first.
blue_cage: whines You know you want to draw Yuushi tracing the edge of a razorsharp card down Gakuto's thigh....using his MOUTH.
dilation: No. Rikkai first.:)
blue_cage: Waaaa~h. Oh, well, Chopsticks Marui, fine. XD
blue_cage: But I want SugaLolly when you can deal with the high octane crack. And Momoneko-san, Fujiko's alter ego.
dilation: I'm not promising anything..;)
blue_cage: I'm finding it easier to make crazy titles for the fics than writing. XD So far there's four: Radio set future : Free way. Versus: Wild fang and Mr. Semi-Auto, Death for Cutie: Cacti implosion remix, and Menage des trois plus un bebe. My favorite is Cacti implosion Remix.
blue_cage: *pines for Casino King!Atobe drawings*
dilation: No, rikkai first.
blue_cage: But Casino King!Atobe will happen too? (That's because Hyotei wants their top four to be called kings. So that's Atobe, Yuushi, Jiro, and Choutarou? :P)
blue_cage: Four Kings versus the Emperors of Rikkai. JOY
dilation: Rikkai is absolute winnah lol sorry
blue_cage: Sorry, Atobe! :D But Yukimura pwns you! Hrm. Yukimura vs Atobe, Yuushi vs Sanada, Jirou vs Renji? O_o;;;;
dilation: Kabaji vs Renji OMGWTFLOLOLOLOLOLAWESOME
dilation: He is the secret pillar yo.
blue_cage: Jirou vs Akaya?
blue_cage: "Usu" (trans: "You will not get past me to get to our King.")
dilation: YES.
blue_cage: "Is that so, Munehiro-kun?"
dilation: And yes to the last one too.
blue_cage: "Usu." (trans: "Now we begin this battle. Prepare yourself!")
dilation: It's like only Renji and Atobe can decipher what Kabaji is saying.
blue_cage: Oh, God, YES! XD Language of the strong. XD
dilation: Like in Southpark with Kenny. AHAHA language of the strong!
blue_cage: BTW, I know it's weird, but Kabaji has this cane in hand in that scene versus Renji. It's like this thousand pound baton that can smash walls. WTF AM I STILL IN TENIPURI YO?
dilation: No this is Naruto territory dawg.
blue_cage: Uwaaaaaah, it explains the sekrit chakra technique Renji is using.
dilation: He can see without opening his eyes omg!
blue_cage: Wuuuuh, sekrit Byakugan!
dilation: Renji eyes >> Byakugan + Sharingan whatevah! HE HAS A BLOODLINE LIMIT WHUT!
blue_cage: Renji would be hunted down by the Akatsuki in Naruto in a heartbeat.
dilation: Whut no, he's sekritly Sir Leader's lover. He's already at the top ohoho.
blue_cage: Kukukukuku, lol!
dilation: OH no, I'm starting to feel the crack growing strong.
blue_cage: Nooooooooooooo, let's not enter Naruto anymore~! We stick to gangland! Tenipuri.....
dilation: Akaya is secretly a jinchuriki?
blue_cage: WHU, Woman, Do NOT get me Started with Akaya's scret Junchiriki life XD
dilation: OKAY BACK TO GANGSTA LAND
blue_cage: Renji slept with Secret Leader to make sure they don't kill off Akaya. XD Whuu, yes, gangsta land! Where Kawamura is teh ultimate crack seller with blingbling and big boombox.
dilation: Shabu Shabu?
blue_cage: Yessss, and the best ecstacy in the world, yoh, straight from Inui's crack!lab.
dilation: OH Inui.
blue_cage: Yes, and guess who's the tiger who guards him? XD
dilation: I know already ;)
blue_cage: kukukukuku, tiger appellation. We all know what that means in bed. XD
dilation: You are evil.
blue_cage: I live to be evil, love, I do.... If only to get more crack from you. XD

So now I have to write a gangland battle with serial killers, doublecrossing, and a healthy amount of crack. Yay!



And yes, even more crack convos, this time involving BT'X and Harry Potter and osmalic. I'm now certain you have the impression I'm on a high when I talk to people. You're not off the mark.


Okay, this is because I expect osmalic: to do this drabble for tomorrow. Because BT'X crack is love, and Ron in heels is just too much to pass up.


osmalic: Holloween-themed. Teppei is dressed as a mummy, and whispers to Kotaro during the party: "You don't have to wait til Christmas to unwrap me."
blue_cage: Or Crack!Doumeki as archer cupid works as well. OH GOD.
blue_cage: The S00per Seme is Pwn'd!
osmalic: Kotaro: "Why don't we leave right now?
blue_cage: "Honey, he wants you to do it before all these people." says Karen, dressed as Tarazuka Oscar.
osmalic: Fao: "Oh, there you are! We just began, and people are still coming in. We're expecting you to talk about your new analysis on the B'T blood-giving later, and Hokuto thinks he's managed to analyze..." Kotaro: "..............................."
KAREN AS OSCAR FTW!!!!
blue_cage: Yes! XD
blue_cage: Oh, God, poor, poor Kotaro!
osmalic: He suffers through four excrutiating hours watching people touch Teppei, with their fingers itching to peel away Teppei's bandages (in his viewpoint, of course) and Teppei just grins and bears it (beast, doesn't he know he's torturing me so?!) -->Kotaro inner monologue
blue_cage: *facepalms* I never thought how much a seme has to go through. I will respect them starting from today.
osmalic: Yes, poor Kotaro. And of course, he can get very passionate when he talks about his research--until his eyes catches Ron leaning closely over Teppei...and he grits out: "Whu--what was I saying again?"
osmalic: (meanwhile) Ron: "You're too short, Teppei, have you ever tried wearing heels?" Teppei: ".....wtf."
blue_cage: Lol. I knew it, the S00per seme is a dying breed. There's no true s00per seme now since you know, they end up with an uke and they settle into OTP land.
blue_cage: ".... Ron, wtf?"
osmalic: Ron: "I tried it once, it was nice, but then everyone said the red hot shoes don't match my red dress--what do they know? *sob*"
blue_cage: *facepalms* I have visions of HP Ron doing that now, thanks.
osmalic: Awwwww, Ron in red hot shoes! XD
blue_cage: *facepalms* It clashes with his HAIR
osmalic: I knooooooooow! And Draco tells him: You suck at fashion. ALLOW ME.
e: Kukukuku. I think Draco would be tempted to deck him as a Christmas tree if only it wouldn't reflect on his taste.
osmalic: "Deck the Ron with boughs of holly..."
blue_cage: I think at this point Ron decides to deck Draco. XD
blue_cage: They're so sweet. NOT.
osmalic: That's what I love about Draco/Ron. They're like a more innocent version of Snape and Lupin...and it's not like Harry/Draco because they actually have the same ideas, only not.
blue_cage: Oh, God. My mind now sees Draco as Potions Master and Ron as DADA teacher, thank you.
osmalic: XD GLAD TO BE OF BUNNYHELP!
blue_cage: *whaps you* It doesn't help because it's practically the same plot as every H/D post-war fic I've seen. XD



*facepalms* Sirius James crack convo. Because babysitting the holy terror is love. If you don't know him, Sirius James is the hypothetical child of Remus and Tonks in the post-HBP world. I made Tonk die conveniently and leave her husband and son to the tender mercies of an out-of-work Potions Master who can whip up a wicked batch of brownies. I know, it's a terrible idea. XD



osmalic: I should start writing while in school because most of my ideas come when I'm there.
blue_cage: Hu - I wish I can write while I'm doing the dishes then. XD
osmalic: You should have a recorder and microphone! Nevermind that your family might probably go O_o while you do the dishes!
blue_cage: Yes, that would be entertaining. I can see it now, "Hollow fight and then Akira faints, oh, and Seto then does his dancy thing on the car while getting drunk. And before I forget, Snape was supposed to wear the pink frilly apron while Sirius James suck on a lollipop."
osmalic: .......................
blue_cage: Because I'm disjoint that way.
osmalic: THAT WOULD BE AWESOME THANK YOU.
blue_cage: Lol! Which part? I'm fond of frilly apron!Snape though
osmalic: Yes, that. XD
blue_cage: We are so predictable
osmalic: He and Remus looking like harassed daddies... XD
blue_cage: We~ll, he looked like a harassed mommy, but - I think Sirius James is an angel. XD
osmalic: I just bet it's only a show for guests, but when the babysitters come...
blue_cage: He has great babysitters. Ron, Hermione, Harry, and Draco help out. Draco is kinda wondering how he got conned into being with an all-Gryffindor group though, especially playing Quidditch.
osmalic: Draco: "HELP ME PANSY~~~~" Or wait.
osmalic: Draco: "I have a great idea. Why don't we hire a professional nanny, and then we all leave this brat with her?"
blue_cage: Severus replies: "You can't pay a professional nanny to take care of him, even if you give the entire Malfoy estate." And Draco goes, "Oh, shite."
blue_cage: Remus then walks in, "That's why we rely on volunteers."
osmalic: BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA and of course Severus would know. XD
blue_cage: Severus glares, "Willing, able volunteers who feel obligated due to some past favors or who happen to feel pity for the poor harassed father."
blue_cage: Remus chimes in, "And life debts! Don't forget life debts!"
blue_cage: Draco is facepalming like whoa.
osmalic: Everyone: sweatdropping and staring at Remus and Severus "They're evil...really evil...how did we get roped into this?!"
osmalic: Except for Hermione (and possibly Harry) who protest: "But he is kind of cute!"
blue_cage: "Because we want some time to make out, obviously! Do you know it's only when you're around that we can screw like mad rabbits!"
blue_cage: "Uh, Severus, you spoke aloud."
blue_cage: "Oh. Crap."
blue_cage: Now Ron and Harry are scrubbing their ears.
blue_cage: And Draco and Hermione are rolling on the floor laughing.
osmalic: WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
blue_cage: Sirius James is asking Remus "What does screwing like rabbits mean?"
osmalic: Hermione: "When two grown rabbits love each other very much..."
blue_cage: "Uh, it's too early for you to know, my son."
osmalic: Everyone: "HERMIONEEEEEE!!!"
blue_cage: Sirius James: "You mean like Daddy Remus and Mommy Sevvey?"
blue_cage: "... ... .... "
blue_cage: "Remus, I thought we weaned him out of the habit of calling me Mommy."
blue_cage: "We did. Uh. Well, we tried. Seems like it didn't take too well."
blue_cage: "Oh GOD." Ron is just babbling with his ears covered. "Didn't know, Professor Snape is not a mommy, no, nuhnuhnuh."
blue_cage: Draco drawls out, "Why, how sweet, Severus. Can I call you auntie now?"
blue_cage: "Not if you value the thing between your legs, brat."
blue_cage: (... ... ... I DID NOT JUST MAKE A DOMESTIC SCENE.)
osmalic: Heeeeeeee~ YOU HAVE IT WRITTEN ALREADY.
blue_cage: Nonononononononono~
blue_cage: I don't, uh, it was nothing. I still want someone to do it.



Today's happy music is:
* Depapepe - Pastel Toori
* SOULd' OUT - Starlight Destiny
* Rain - Free Way

Because really, I'm not depressed all the time. Just most of the time.
On reading back at the whole entry, I realize: I don't sound like I'm Capricorn. XD